Why is addiction not only a habit but also loneliness? On the role of relationships in overcoming addiction

Addiction and Loneliness – Why Relationships Are the Foundation of Recovery

Addiction is often associated with substances: alcohol, drugs, medications, synthetic stimulants. But in reality, the problem rarely begins in a bottle or a syringe. Very often, it begins in loneliness.

This is not only about being physically alone. It is about the feeling of having no one to talk to, no one to trust, no one to tell the truth about your emotions. That is why recovery from addiction is not only about stopping substance use — it is also about rebuilding connection, relationships, and trust.  And this is something we see every day at the Monar treatment center in Kębliny near Łódź.
 

Loneliness – The Invisible Core of Addiction

Research and therapeutic experience show that many individuals struggling with addiction were already dealing, long before substance use began, with:

• low self-esteem,

• the belief that they did not deserve support,

• lack of safe relationships,

• fear of judgment,

• feeling misunderstood.

The substance becomes a “companion”:

• it does not judge,

• it does not leave,

• it offers immediate relief.

But it quickly leads to deeper isolation. The person begins hiding the truth, withdrawing from relationships, distancing from family — and ends up more alone than ever.

 

Why Relationships Heal

Many residents at Monar say, “For the first time in my life, I felt that someone truly listened to me.”

That is not accidental. Relationships have power because they:
 

1. Create Emotional Safety

When a person feels they can speak honestly without shame, real openness begins. And openness is the first step toward change.
 

2. Teach Healthy Communication

Many individuals with addiction never learned how to express emotions. Group therapy and professional support teach how to talk about anger, sadness, or fear without escaping into substances.
 

3. Break the Cycle of Isolation

Support reminds a person that they do not have to cope alone. They do not have to be strong all the time.
 

4. Strengthen Motivation

Knowing that someone believes in your change becomes a powerful driver during difficult moments in treatment.
 

5. Reflect Personal Strengths

A therapeutic group acts like a mirror. It reflects not only struggles, but also strengths many individuals fail to see in themselves.

 

Why Loneliness Makes Sobriety Harder to Maintain

After treatment, many individuals say their greatest fear is returning to loneliness. Because in moments of withdrawal, lack of conversation, and absence of support, the following often reappear:

• substance cravings,

• thoughts such as “no one understands me,”

• the urge to escape into old coping mechanisms.

That is why at Monar we place strong emphasis on building relationships — not only during therapy, but also after completion. We teach how to rebuild trust within the family, how to ask for help, and how to become support for others.

 

Group Therapy – More Than a Shared Room

At the Monar center in Kębliny, as in other therapeutic communities, the group is the heart of treatment. Why does it work?

Because no one is alone.Because everyone knows the pain.Because when one person speaks about their struggle, another thinks, “It’s not just me.”Because honesty within a community heals.

It is the strength of connection that helps individuals leave isolation behind and learn how to be close to others — without turning to substances.

 

How Families Can Help Break the Cycle of Loneliness

Families do not need professional terminology or perfect words.

What matters most is:

• presence,

• patience,

• conversation without judgment,

• attentiveness,

• willingness to listen.

For someone struggling with addiction, this may be the first step toward feeling valued — and worth the effort of recovery.

 

Final Reflection

Addiction does not develop in isolation by accident — it grows in loneliness and feeds on it.

Therapy — especially in a setting like Monar — becomes a return to people. To conversation. To community. To normal life.

Because recovery begins where loneliness ends.