How to talk to a person with an addiction so that they really want to get help?

How to Talk to Someone Struggling with Addiction – Without Breaking the Bond

Talking to someone who is struggling with addiction can be one of the hardest moments in a family’s life. We want to help, yet we often hear: “I don’t have a problem.” “I can handle it myself.” “Just leave me alone.”

Why does this happen — and how can you talk in a way that protects the relationship while opening the door to change?

🧠 1. Understand: Addiction Is Not a Choice, but a Disease

The first step is changing your mindset. Addiction is not a lack of willpower or laziness. It is a disease that affects thinking, emotions, and decision-making.

When you speak to someone struggling with addiction, remember that they often genuinely believe they are in control. That is why aggression, moralizing, and accusations usually increase resistance rather than encourage change.

🕊️ 2. Do Not Judge — Show Understanding

Instead of saying, “You failed again,” try:

“I can see that you’re struggling. I’m worried about you.”

Empathy does not mean approving of harmful behavior. It means seeing the person behind the addiction. Trust grows when someone feels understood rather than attacked — and trust is essential for meaningful dialogue.

🗣️ 3. Choose the Right Time and Place

Do not start a conversation when the person is under the influence. Choose a calm moment — ideally when they themselves show vulnerability or after a difficult event.

Pick a neutral, private setting without pressure or witnesses. Sometimes a walk outside creates more openness than a conversation at the kitchen table.

❤️ 4. Speak About Yourself, Not About Them

Instead of:“You have to stop drinking / using.”

Say:“I’m afraid for you.”“I can’t sleep when you’re out at night.”

These statements do not sound like accusations. They express concern and personal emotion, which are less likely to trigger defensiveness.

🚪 5. Do Not Push — Leave the Door Open

You cannot force someone into treatment. But you can plant a seed that may grow later.

Say clearly:“If you ever decide you want help, I’ll support you in finding it.”

Sometimes such conversations take weeks or months to mature — but they often mark the beginning of change.

🧩 6. Seek Support — You Are Not Alone

Talking to someone with addiction is emotionally exhausting. It is important that you also have support — in family support groups, with a psychologist, or through therapeutic consultation.

At Monar in Kębliny near Łódź, we often repeat:

“Recovery works best when the whole family is supported.”

Change in one person affects everyone — and vice versa.

🌿 7. Offer Hope — It Works Better Than Blame

People struggling with addiction often feel worthless, guilty, and alone. Your words can become the first spark of hope.

Say:“I believe you can do this.”“The fact that we’re talking is already a step.”

This is not false optimism — it is a reminder that change is possible, and that not everything is lost.

🌼 Every Conversation Matters

Sometimes one calm sentence can begin the process of recovery.

If you would like guidance on how to support a loved one, you can reach out to a professional treatment center such as Monar in Kębliny near Łódź.

Help may be closer than you think.You do not have to face this alone.