How to Support a Loved One with Addiction Without Losing Yourself

Loved ones of people struggling with addiction often ask themselves: “How can I help without destroying myself?” Codependency is a real and serious issue. Below are practical guidelines on how to be supportive—without becoming a victim.

Understand, But Don’t Justify

Addiction is a disease. It is important to understand that. However, this does not mean you must accept harmful or abusive behavior. Your boundaries matter.

Compassion does not require tolerating disrespect, manipulation, or aggression.

Don’t Rescue – It’s Not Your Role

Responsibility for recovery belongs to the person struggling with addiction. You can support, talk, encourage, and guide—but you cannot fight this battle on their behalf.

Taking over responsibility often prolongs the problem rather than solving it.

Set Clear Boundaries – And Stick to Them

• “I will not lend you money.”

• “I will not tolerate aggression.”

• “I will help you seek therapy, but you must be willing.”

These rules are not a lack of love—they are a healthy expression of it.

Boundaries protect both you and the person struggling with addiction.

Take Care of Yourself

You cannot help anyone if you are emotionally exhausted. Seek support for yourself:

• join support groups for families of addicted individuals,

• speak with a therapist,

• learn assertiveness and healthy communication.

Self-care is not selfish—it is necessary.

Conclusion

Helping someone does not mean sacrificing yourself. It means offering compassion with wisdom. Support your loved one—but do not forget about your own well-being. Only then can your support truly make a difference.